You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
