my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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