i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
PANTIES FOUND
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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