Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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