Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
