Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
