you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
