I just threw up on my dentist
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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