So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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