He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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