Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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