You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can I color on your dick again?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
