thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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