I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
