He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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