i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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