Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
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after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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