We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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