and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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