Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
