just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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