he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
