the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
