I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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