My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
