wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize