Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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