As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We had to coat check the pizza.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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