yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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