im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize