when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
