I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
