So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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