nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
