The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize