Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
