Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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