You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
