We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
