Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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