I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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