How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
