My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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