That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize