She is in my trunk
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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