Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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