ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
