just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
