dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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