the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
we should paint friendship bongs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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