it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
