just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
