I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
