You made me cry and you don't even care
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
