Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
