Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
