Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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