The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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