I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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