You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
