This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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