Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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