well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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