She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
