I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize