I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
