help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
