the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
