I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
