as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize