let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
